Friends, I am tired.
I'm tired of being tired.
But as much as I'm tired of being tired, I'm frustrated that I'm letting the state of 'tiredness' get in the way of me living my life.
I feel like I've been letting the fact that I'm tired be an excuse. It's become a crutch that I use to justify why I didn't get something done or why I decided not to do something.
You see, we all have crutches that we use to prop us up from time to time. And today, I'm opening up to you and being vulnerable because I feel like there are probably a lot of women who feel just as I feel. Maybe you're a busy mom. Maybe you have a really stressful job that takes up a lot of your time. Maybe you have a lot of family drama that you're trying to wade through...maybe you have to deal with all three. But I want to open up, being honest with not only myself but with you so you don't feel isolated in your thoughts, actions, and feelings.
Sometimes, we use the crutch of being tired to allow us to take a timeout. Because being tired can be an indicator that your body needs time to recharge. But even more than that, being tired is an indicator that you're just not taking care of yourself. Plan and simple. If you took the time to read this post, I went into detail about how it's your responsibility to take care of yourself so you can be a better person for those you aim to support.
I've been moaning about being tired for the better part of a year. I call it moaning because there isn't very much that I've done about it. I always felt like I had a good reason for why I was so tired. And to be honest, on the surface, they were completely valid reasons. It started out with being tired from being pregnant with two young kids in tow and working full-time. Then it was being tired from having a newborn and two young kids. Then it was tired from having a these three young kids, managing a home, a very busy husband, limited outside support all while trying to launch a new business.
Today, it's still all of those things tied with a bow of sleepy, restless nights.
And it was making me bitter.
I was getting so frustrated and annoyed because I was letting 'tired' get in the way of me persuing what I wanted to achieve for myself. It slowly, but surely became a vicious cycle of me going from one activity to the other claiming tired as a badge of honour. Instead of asking for specific help where and when I needed it...I used being tired as a stamp of martyrdom.
"Look how devoted I am to my family, I don't even have time to sleep, eat, or grow my business."
"Look how hard my life is. I'm so tired."
"I'd be so much further in my life if I just had more outside support."
But at the end of the day, if I wasn't saying the things above, I'd be complaining about something else...so is it really about those things?
The thing is, everyone has a lot of ish to deal with. If it's not this, it's that.
Sometimes, we lean on our circumstances to explain away our complicity in our shortcomings. If we focus on what is wrong in our lives to give us an out on our personal responsibility.
Sometimes, our egos can't take that WE are responsible for why we couldn't make something happen. But if we focus on what's not going right, or what's not 'ideal', it's an easier pill to swallow.
But you see, I've had the pleasure of being around a lot really exceptional and successful people - and you wanna know what?
They're tired, too.
They wish they could lie in bed an extra few hours.
They wish someone else would just get it done for once.
They wish they had more time, too.
But you know what else? They don't let anything stop them. Not tiredness. Not a canceled appointment. Not a co-workers laziness. Not a bad nights sleep. Not the disrespect of a manager. Nothing.
Because they understand that in order to get to where they are going, they are going to have to fight off demons. The demons that are placed in your way to take your off of your life's journey. The demons that are there to keep you from getting to where you're trying to go.
There are people with exceptional talents. Actors. Doctors. Athletes. Parents. CEOs. Entrepreneurs. But you know what MAKES them exceptional? Their drive and their unwillingness to let anything stand in the way of the direction that they're going.
If you're a millennial like me, you've been lied to. One of the most egregious lies of all time if you ask me: You can be anything you want to be.
No. You can't just be anything you want to be. The truth is:
You can be anything you're willing to work hard to be.
Because LeBron James, Steph Curry, and Kevin Durant aren't the best in the NBA because they want to be - they're the best because they work harder than their peers.
And you can get there too. To success. Whatever success means to you. But it means you're going to be uncomfortable sometimes. You're going to be tired sometimes. All of that emotion and exhaustion is just going to be a part of your amazing life story. And you're going to be so proud to tell it.
Don't let tired get in the way of your happiness. Sometimes we sacrifice sleep for something greater (and then we work on catching up on it later ;).